So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
