I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
