dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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