My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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