smell my finger.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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