Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
