I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
