Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
