did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
