Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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