that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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