garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
