I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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