your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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