i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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