# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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