I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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