It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
