I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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