Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
