You really coming over, don't trick.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just found puke in my bra..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's paint friendship bongs
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
50% drunk capacity currently
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
