oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
