The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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