I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
