Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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