and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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