I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize