My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
