forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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