$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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