My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
