any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So vagazzling was a success
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize