Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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