brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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