You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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