Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize