Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
