I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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