Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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