so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
