Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
