Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
