It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
