Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
