I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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