In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
