I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
