Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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