I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
