I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
