Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am spending my child support on dildos
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
