So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
