why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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