Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
