She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
