My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
