I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
