remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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