so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
