I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
