so explain again why im purple
no
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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