she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
NoShamevember. You game?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
