Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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