My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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