and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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