i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize