Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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